Walking Mends My Mind

Bog Fae The Bog | Ep. 3

Welcome to Blog Fae The Bog Getting the Sh*t Oot Ma Head

Welcome back to the next instalment of Blog Fae The Bog., ’m Gaz—amateur writer, keen poet, habitual journaler, and a general scribbler of any old sh*te that happens to spring to mind.

If you’re looking for a mix of random topics, light-hearted nonsense, and the occasional pointless ramble, you’ve come to the right place.

Fair Warning: Please only read my blog if you are not easily offended. If you are, please read something else!

Shaking & Trembling

For weeks that turned into months, I found myself in a repetitive, soul-crushing cycle: back and forth to the GP, searching for answers, only to be met with uncertainty.

The conversations always started the same way, the symptoms you’re describing “sound like it could be this… or it might be that” as I watched my symptoms being typed into the medical search engine—GP Google, then a long list of potential ailments populated before my eyes. Right alongside it was an equally long list of medications that “may or may not” solve the problem.

“Do you want to try this tablet or that tablet? It might work, it might not.”

I never knew how to respond. I went to the GP for help to find out what was going on, not to pick from a menu of trial-and-error chemistry.

A Year of Being a Guinea Pig

Almost a year passed. I went through the entire “Google list,” trying different medications and getting absolutely nowhere. This led me to a grim new routine, I couldn’t function properly, I hit a brick wall nearly every day around lunchtime, my life became a constant struggle to find a balance between popping pills to function and just saying fu*k it and staying in bed all day.

Eventually, I’d had enough. My mental health was taking a hit, my physical health and self-esteem were nonexistent, and the mood swings well i wont go there with them lets just say i was unbearable. My anxiety was through the roof, I could barely get out of bed let alone drag myself into work. Quite frankly, I was just struggling to cope.

The irony is I had absolutely no idea if I felt this way because of the shaking (the original reason I sought help) or the cocktail of 15–20 tablets I was pushing down my throat twice daily. So back to the GP it was to discuss my declining mental health, the answer was?? —You guessed it—more tablets.

Breaking the Cycle

I soon reached breaking point and drafted a lengthy detailed letter to the GP, demanding that my symptoms be investigated stating that I was done being a guinea pig. I wanted answers what was causing those bloody shakes.

Within a short time of sending the letter, I received the longest phone call of my life from the GP. Finally, the ball started rolling and i was determined to find out what was actually working, what was making me worse, and what I was taking for no reason at all.

It made me wonder

• Should we question medical professionals more often?

• Should we just accept a prescription without question?

• Are GPs handing out medication too easily because they think that’s what patients want?

Diagnosis

The appointments finally started coming thick and fast. I was tested for pretty much everything: MS, Parkinson’s, you name it i was tested for it. Almost four years since I first walked into that GP surgery with a shaking right wrist (and i was told it was likely “carpal tunnel” or a “trapped nerve”), I finally got an answer.

Essential Tremors

What even is that? 

Essential tremors (ET) is apparently a neurological condition with no real known cause and no permanent cure. It causes involuntary, rhythmic shaking, most commonly in the hands, arms and voice and is known as the most common movement disorder affecting up to over 1 million people in the UK and over 10 million people in the US. Essential tremors are about 8 – 10 times more common than Parkinson’s disease. More information can be found here – https://tremor.org.uk

After four years of hell was another referral back to the GP, and the “solution” offered you guessed it the same medication over and over again that may or may not make it better.

My answer to that 

No way, it took me eight months to wean myself off the last cocktail merry-go-round. I have tried every tablet available for this condition as well as tablets that are not, and I was finally done with that sh*t

What’s next

I am now embarking on a new journey living with ET. I now try to manage my symptoms without synthetic chemicals aiming to keep my tremors under control and most importantly get back in control of my life. I could not go on popping pill after pill chopping and changing medication with no signs of improvement.

I now only take 2 tablets each day and I have confidence that these 2 tablets are both crucial and essential to my well-being. The other dozen plus tablets well, they did not work and made my symptoms worse and led me to a pretty dark place, but hey it also led me on a new path. 

Mother Nature

I have now decided to transition toward a more nature-based approach that aligns with my personal values, using nature for mindfulness-based practice while exploring holistic style therapies. Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) has also appeared on my radar and through that I have stumbled upon an ancient Chinese practice called Qigong.  More on Qigong will feature in another episode of “Blog Fae The Bog”

I don’t claim to be an expert and took a risk stopping my medication against the advice of the professional’s but I know what was right for me at that time and eventually I listened to my body,

Always consult a medical professional before altering or discontinuing prescribed medication.

Thank you for reading 

Stay safe, i will see you on the next episode opf Blog Fae The Bog

Gaz